What your sign says about you

Aquarius: The Independent One “Hey, are you … mad at me or something?” — a text you probably got, like, four times this morning already. But who can blame you, Aquarius? You can’t help it if you need your space. You’re a deeply caring partner, loyal as heck, and supportive to the ends of the Earth, but you don’t have any time for scrubs. If someone does one thing to piss you off, that’s it, they’re canceled. Also, you’re, like, crazy in bed. How You’ll Meet Your Soul Mate: They’ve been in love with you forever, and one night, you stay up late having an extremely tight and incredibly woke conversation, and it hits you that this is probably your soul mate (at least till they double-text you and piss you off).

Pisces: The Sensitive One Oh, sweet, sensitive Pisces. You’re such a compassionate partner who has so much love to give that it sucks extra that you tend to date jerks. Listen to your friends when they say they don’t like your latest squeeze — they’re just looking out for you. Your sensitive artistic side shines best when you’re coupled up and have someone to fully appreciate the indie slammers on your Spotify playlists. Your partners love your artistic interests and how you’ll always be the first ones to introduce them to something. You’ve got kindness and compassion in spades, and you make everyone feel good about themselves. How You’ll Meet Your Soul Mate: You start following each other after meeting in the Instagram comments of a famous tattoo artist whose work you both admire. Most Pisces-y Breakup: They cheat on you, and you take them back after they swear up and down that they’ll change. They won’t. Aries: The Honest One Aries, you’re a no-bullshit kind of person and that attitude shines through all aspects of your personal brand — from the way you are at work (probably why people are magnetically attracted to working with you on group projects and such) and especially when it comes to dating. You can be a bit moody sometimes and it’s often difficult for your partners to understand how someone so pragmatic can be so touch-and-go. Once you find someone who truly ~gets~ your vibe though, you’re a total ride-or-die B. Fights with you are a whole new level of intense. Your partners usually do everything they can to avoid starting shit with you, because you do not hold back with the savagery. Nothing is off-limits when someone pisses you off, you’ll go there and back and then drag them there AGAIN as a ghost just to survey the damage you did. How You’ll Meet Your Soul Mate: You lock eyes from across the room and the sexual tension is screaming. You bone later that night and are inseparable

Most Aries-y Breakup: You straight-up just pop off on them in the street one day when they won’t STFU about some petty drama in their life. You realize that this person is kinda two-faced and you’re over it.

Taurus: The Logical One You’re a practical person, Taurus, and your dating habits reflect this. While everyone else is running around dating toxic guys and falling into unhealthy relationships, you’ve never had to worry about that. That’s not to say that you’re boring; you just don’t really take risks. Why go after that mysterious hottie that’s been locking eyes with you across the bar all night when you already know your friend Ryan from your English seminar is kinda into you? Sure, there’s little to no chemistry, but you’re pretty sure he’s into you after he, I dunno, asked you out repeatedly for three months? How You’ll Meet Your Soul Mate: IDK, they just hung around long enough that they broke you down. Most Taurus-y Breakup: You finally dump them after 18 months of tepid dating — after assembling a very methodical pro/con list and sitting on it for a while.

Gemini: The Adventurous One Your easygoing nature makes you super affable and charming to partners. That’s probably why so many of your relationships have started out platonically. You’re super fun to date because you’re always coming up with date ideas. Mini golf? Sure! Film festival downtown that you’re pretty sure no one under the age of 55 will be attending? Absolutely! You come across as extremely confident to everyone else around you, even though you may not feel that way inside, so sometimes your nervousness reads as being sarcastic. And while your partners love your creativity and sense of adventure, though your indecisiveness might annoy the shit out of some people (just being real with you, bb). How You’ll Meet Your Soul Mate: You’ve been orbiting each other’s friend circles for years and one day it hits you that This Is Your Person. You suggest the first date (of course you do, fearless Gemini, lean TF in!) and that’s that! An hour with your charming conversational skills and anyone, literally anyone, will be eating out the palm of your hand. Most Gemini-y Breakup: They ask you to move in, and you straight-up can’t decide if you want to move in with them or not. After sleeping on it and consulting with 18 of your closest friends (Geminis roll deep!), you realize you probably didn’t even like them that much to begin with.

Cancer: The Salty One You can be a petty B, Cancer, but you know this already. You can never just accept it when people are into you (even when they so obviously are!) and this leads to the majority of your problems. As a partner, you shine best with like-minded people, but be careful not to fall into the trap of dating, like, a carbon copy of you because — and I say this with nothing but love — that hive-mind mentality of pessimism is not super healthy for you in the long run (though it may feel validating as heck in the moment to find someone else who also hates literally everything on this planet).

Author: Jenny

A freelance Journalist, and an advocate of peace

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